Received from a friend
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0, RUGBY 12.4 and CRICKET 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Unhappy.
Reply
DEAR Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.
I’m still looking for Boyfriend v0.1, I didn’t know that they were on v5 already!
Just polish up the version you have
Hahaha! very funny
I’ve seen this in slightly different forms before but it never get any less hysterical
They really should put warning signs on the packaging for these programs 
Hmmm … I am now on OS Husband 3.0 and there are times I would like to uninstall this OS … I have been running the Cooking 3.0 software of a very long time now but being an older user find that Good Looks 7.7 is now somewhat beyond my capabilities.
I suppose it is too late to get a refund on Husband 3.0 and change to Free Spirit 1.0?
Google it, maybe some upgrades somewhere
Very clever. Is there a wife program?
Great advice.
This is O-U-T-S-T-A-N-D-I-N-G. Whoever put this together is ingenious!
Roly i’m going to steal this its very good.
Hahahaha what a laugh.. Delightful
Well, it’s about time that they made an app for that.
It could be a virus!
That was so funny. My wife has been talking about getting a new computer. I hope she wasn’t talking in code…