My boyfriend’s taste runs a little different than mine. What should I do if I don’t really like the present he gets me for Christmas?
Lost in the Holidays
Dear Lost in the Holidays,
I’m going to assume that, by his “taste runs a little different” than yours that, being a man, his taste is not only bad but he’s also a cheap bastard, at least when it comes to buying presents for you. Not so much with the cheap when he buys something for himself. Am I right? (Don’t actually answer that, it was rhetorical, and I don’t care what you have to say about it anyway.)
You’re not married yet so you have several options. First option: you could tell him that his taste sucks and if expects to get “it” for Christmas he better come up with something better than this. Second option: you could try to exchange it or return it. If you can’t do one of those without a receipt donate it to charity so you can at least get that garbage out of your house. The third option: if you didn’t like my first or second option you could write to another advice columnist who actually gives a damn.
I’m looking for a romantic place to take my new girlfriend on a date. I’m looking for something that is not too expensive, yet both fun and romantic. Any suggestions?
A Romantic guy
Dear Romantic guy,
Can your cheap ass afford a bottle of booze? You can take the bottle with you while you take her to her bedroom. That covers being cheap, fun and how much more romantic can you get than sex?